Bridal Showers should be an intimate gathering of friends and should not include every guest on the wedding list. According to tradition, immediate members of your family should not be the hostess of the shower, unless you don’t know many people in the area. But this tradition seems to have fallen out of favor. It is appropriate to invite your bridal party, members of your family, and members of the groom’s family to the showers. Traditionally, bridal showers are for women only, and are held during the afternoon. However, many contemporary party themes are co-ed and focus on something important to both the bride and the groom.
If you are having multiple showers, you should not invite all of your friends to every single one. Buying presents can get expensive, especially if several of your friends are getting married as well. It may be a good idea to divide up the guest lists for the showers, so that you can be respectful of your friends’ bank account. If bridesmaids or a close relative will be invited to all of your showers, let her know that she does not have to bring more than one gift. You will want the guests at the shower to know at least a few of the people there, so the hostess and the bride should carefully select the guests. For example, the guest list for a shower given by a co-worker may include mostly other people who work with you.
Showers can be at any time of day, and the food and beverages can be of any type. For example, a shower can be a:
- Brunch
- Coffee
- Luncheon
- Tea
- Cocktail Party
- Dessert Shower
It is best for the invitation to say what will be served, and to also indicate the theme of the showers. Many showers require gifts of a certain type, and guests must know ahead of time. Some popular types of showers are:
- Pantry shower – food
- Lingerie showers
- Round-the-clock – each invitation has a time of day, and the recipient should bring a gift that would be used at that time of day
- Gardening shower
- Recipe Shower
- Paper Shower
Some showers may also be designed for both the bride and the groom, and these co-ed events should have themes that reflect an interest the couple has in common. Personal gifts, such as lingerie, should not be given at co-ed showers; gifts must be meant for both the bride and the groom.
For all kinds of bridal showers, gifts should fit with the type of shower given -- but they don’t need to be expensive. Friends and relatives still have to buy wedding presents, so try not to drain their wallets. A good idea would be for the hostess to limit the price range on the invitation so that guests do not feel pressured to spend a lot of money. It is also appropriate to get several people together to buy an expensive gift.
Unless the hostess requests that she receive presents a day or two before the shower so she can wrap them in the same paper, or coordinating paper, gifts should simply be wrapped in paper that looks like it’s for a bride.
The invitations to the bridal shower should be sent three to four weeks before the shower. They don’t need to be formal, and they can be hand-written or telephoned.
The information in the invitation needs to include the:
- Date
- Time
- Location
- Theme
- Price limit (if applicable)
- Hostess’s preferred date to receive presents (if applicable)
The decorations for the shower should maintain the theme of the party. In general, decorations should be light, airy, and cheerful. There should also be a gift book that the hostess or her delegate should maintain throughout the party so the bride will be able to remember who gave her each present. Presents are opened at different times during the shower depending on what type of food and beverages are served. For coffee, tea, and cocktail parties, presents are opened as soon as all guests have arrived. For dessert parties, presents are opened after everyone has finished her dessert.
After the presents are opened, they are passed around for everyone to see. The bride should be gracious and excited about her gifts, and her sincere appreciation is generally accepted in lieu of thank you cards. However, if someone who is unable to attend sends a gift, the bride should send a thank you note. Also, the bride should send a gift and a card to the hostess of the shower to show her appreciation.
You should do your best to make sure that these parties and showers are fun for everyone. The parties should incorporate your personal style and interests, as well as those of your guests. Having themes and activities that are closely aligned with your personality will reduce the stress of these occasions, and allow you to simply enjoy your time with your loved ones.
